PENSIEVE

One Sentence Saturday, #2

When I consider the impetus of my fears ~ a combination of the unknown, perspective and imagination, all as they relate to some reality ~ I'm able to trust that most are either unfounded worry or opportunity for personal and/or spiritual transformation.

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Want a quick, fun, simple weekend post?  Please join in One Sentence Saturday!  Click though to pick up the badge and read details.  Then add your post below and be sure to visit the person before and after your link number to support and encourage the growing #1SS community!

 

 

Waiting, attitude adjustment and The Lion King

These days are finding me running from one thing to the next. I've come to rely on The Never-ending To-Do list, mainly because e.v.e.r.y.thing I can think of TO do must go on the list lest I forget; bathing and breathing included.

Most important are the parent-y things reserved for the ma-Ma.  Like doctor's visits. Yesterday, sports physicals for my boys topped my list since soccer is just around the corner.

Because they have a $25 deal, a local walk-in clinic is our destination when it's time for a school physical.  Yesterday was no different.  We walked in at 3:20.  

We walked out at 5:30.

Their actual face time with the doc was about 20 minutes.  The rest of the time we were treated to waiting room public broadcasting--it's been a long time since Arthur taught me a lesson and I'll be durned if the scholarly aardvark hasn't found the Fountain of Youth!

It's not hard to imagine all three of us were approximating spontaneous combustion, which might explain why one of my sons burst into uncontrollable laughter when the doctor asked him to cough.  That's one response, I suppose.

Typically this type of thing undoes me.  I'll fume til my fire fizzles to embers, which serves no one and doesn't even make me feel better.  

But the truth of my "right now"?  

I DO NOT HAVE TIME TO SIT IN A DOCTOR'S OFFICE FOR ALMOST 2 1/2 HOURS! 

But yesterday something was different.  Maybe it was because after I shared my Terrible Awful Very Bad Day, I received a few notes from readers whose TAVBDs aren't days, but weeks or months or worse!  They were SO NICE about it, too, feeling  my pain while sharing their {much more terrible awful} own, and I was flat over myself.

For goodness sakes, I get to travel to Germany off and on for the next year on the company's dime (sorta).  My problems?  Minor, sometimes emotional, inconvenience.  That's about it.  

The ridiculous wait at the doctor's office, while rude and inconvenient, wasn't life or death and my errands will get done eventually.  And if they don't get done it won't be the end of the world.

On my post-doctor, rainy drive to T.J. Maxx to buy a suitcase for our trip, I had an ephiphany:

Getting mad about something in the past
is an absolute waste of time.

Now, I'm sure, being the savvy person you are, you already know this.  But do you really believe this?  Because believing this, owning it, changes everything for the better.

I can't change the past; it's neutral.  The past is indifferent towards my present and cares not for my future.  If I make the choice to dwell on the past, it can rob me of present and future joy and contentment.  

I decided right then and right there ~ in the middle of the T.J. Maxx parking lot ~ that I wasn't going to allow the aggravating past three hours to steal any more energy or time.  

And then I bought a really big, purple, lightweight trolley and asked the lady at check out, "Wouldn't it be funny if I had hidden a friend in it, and when you unzipped it to make sure I wasn't shoplifting, she jumped out?" and cock-eyed she hurried to complete my transaction.  I might be mistaken but I think she was in a hurry to get rid of me.

Anyways...

At my epiphanous moment, Disney's Lion King came to mind. Ahhh, the sage wisdom of Rafiki, Timon and Pumba.  

Enjoy, again, especially if it's been a while--

 

 

The terrible, awful, very bad day

Yesterday the floodgates burst, and try as I might to dam them, they were unstoppable force.  Today, if you look closely, swollen eyelids testify.

My breakdown was precipitated by Perfect Storm--

• Discovery of losing an $850 porcelain crown
• A friend hanging up on me because I snapped on the phone
• Being called to love my neighbor when I have reason not to like her
• The animal police arriving to arrest my dog

all occurring within minutes of each other. 

The teeth

My teeth have been sensitive as long as I can remember, but in December I realized I had issues beyond sensitivity:

• the porcelain had chipped off an existing crown last Summer, and the disgusting black metal remainder was beginning to peel away from my #3 tooth (upper right back for the dental neophytes) making it jump-to-the-ceiling sensitive to hot or cold and screaming for attention.
• long-observed fractures in my #18 tooth (bottom back left) became problematic, not only hyper sensitive to hot/cold, but also to pressure. 

With my impending two-month departure out of the country, it was time to deal with both.  Because we were at the end of one year/beginning a new, and I knew my husband was starting a new job, AND I WAS TRYING TO MAKE SMART (stupid) FINANCIAL CHOICES TO AVOID TWO DEDUCTIBLES IN SEPARATE CALENDAR YEARS, I put off the crowns til mid-January (though we started the process before Christmas). 

Skipping over a few details, I've been to my sadist perfectionist dentist four times in the past month.  She's a conservative perfectionist, and we moved slowly to make sure I didn't need root canals in either tooth.

Yesterday was supposed to be Glory Hallelujah Day--my last visit--because along with my ish-shahs, I've had chair arm-gripping and whimpering-like-a-puppy pain, even with both sides of my mouth numbed til I slobbered silly.  No exaggeration.  Maybe.

B u t, over the weekend (pay attention 'cause this part's confusing) my real porcelain crown--temporarily cemented while we waited a wee bit longer to make sure I wasn't going to require a root canal--fell off.  I decided to buy peace of mind by scheduling an endodontist evaluation for both teeth on Monday; there was enough lingering doubt to justify the expense.  My regular dentist (whom I adore) is limited in her testing.

So I slipped my Real Porcelain Crown into an inflated Zip-loc bag, trotted off for McDreamy to look at both teeth, and was happily sent away with good news:  NO root canal.

Yesterday, on my way to see my dentist to permanently seat BOTH crowns (the other one was due back from the lab), I checked to make sure my Real Porcelain Crown was in the car.

It wasn't.

I checked in my purse.

Not there either.

I came back in the house, concern starting to rise, and looked everywhere I would possibly put it--no fake tooth to be found!

The flood was beginning to rise in my throat....

 

The Call

It was right at this time when my friend called; the one I was supposed to let know we had to cancel a meeting to sign legal documents regarding our move.  I had forgotten to call him, and he began by giving me a hard time about not responding to his multiple, earlier texts or messages, unbeknownst to him, unseen by me because my phone was a) in the car, and b) dead. 

Defensive, I started crazy-talking, shrilling about my $850 lost crown and THIS WAS NOT THE TIME TO GIVE ME A HARD TIME AND....

I looked down at my phone because he wasn't responding, only to discover there was no one on the line and I'm thinking HE HUNG UP ON ME?!?!

But by now late for my dental appointment, I called the office to explain what was going on and begged them to phone the endodontist to see if by chance they had found a crown tucked in a baggie on their waiting room floor.

Frantic and with tears falling, I went back to my car and started looking from the passenger side, positive it had been on the seat the day before.  It was then I noticed an idling vehicle parked in my driveway, the view partially obscured from a closed garage door.  At first I thought it was the friend who had hung up on me, but then I could see writing on the side of the door, and figured it must be a technician here to read a meter or something.

Not finding the tooth and going back into the house, I was in full blown panic.

I was furious (I had lost the crown), upset (over the expense of replacing it), frustrated (I hadn't just gotten it permanently cemented on the previous visit), and concerned (there wasn't time for the lab to make a new one BEFORE I LEAVE THE COUNTRY).

Let me stop here to say I am not typically emotional, I rarely cry, and I've often wondered if that was the Number One reason my husband chose me 24 years ago and keeps me around today.  I'm easy.  Complicated, yes, but not high maintenance.  Not to say if you cry you're high maintenance, but he'll tell you he appreciates this in me.

So I'm spinning in circles in the middle of my kitchen mentally retracing my footsteps.  The Recycling Center.  Office Depot.  Verizon.  I was in and out of my car a half dozen times following my endodontist appointment and it must have fallen out of my purse or car seat sometime throughout the day.

It was a lost cause.  An expensive lost cause.

 

The Dog Police

I was weepily coming to terms with this when I heard a knock at my front door.  I couldn't very well ignore it; whoever was in my driveway had to have heard me rustling through my car minutes earlier.  I composed myself and opened the front door.

But eyeing the badge on his right hip sent me into a banshee's tailspin again.  The poor man, stunned, said, "Ma'am, do you need a few minutes?" to which I wailed, "NO!  PLEASE JUST TELL ME WHY YOU'RE HERE!" and I almost felt sorry for the guy 'cause by now I'm a hot mess, but I still don't know who he is or what he wants.

"I'm sorry to inform you we've received complaints about your dog and I'm here to issue a warning...."

I'm snubbing and snotting and can barely speak, and this guy...this guy doesn't know what to do, but no, OH NO, if he's here to do a job, who am I to stop him just because I'm having a Vesuvian eruption?

He can't tell me who issued the complaints, but we know who it is. 

And it's solely because of her that we're having to find a new home for the puppy we've had nine years... :(.

In between snubs I ask the man to please tell the complainant I have actively been looking for a new home for the past month (since being made aware of Judie's wrath), and I'll take care of it.  He gently offers, "Ma'am, I can help you with that," to which I squall, "BY 'HELP ME WITH THAT' DO YOU MEAN 'KILL' HER??!" and he assures me that's not what he means.  He knows people who would take her and love her. 

Remarkably, I have the presence of mind to take his name and number rather then surrendering my dog without talking this through with my husband. 

Ugly Cry

I walk upstairs to my bathroom and had to laugh at my reflection--mascara is not only streaked down both cheeks, it's smeared across my forehead and all I can think is HOW DID IT GET THERE?  My eyes are bloody and swollen, my nose looks like a drunk's and my lips are puffy.  Lovely.

And I still have to go to the dentist to have my bottom crown cemented. 

The whole way there I'm losing the Maintaining Composure battle, but I only think I'm under control; when I walk through the door and see Gwen, her sympathetic eyes unleash the dam once again and I manage to stammer "I...can't...stop...crying...." and I'll be darned if the entire office staff doesn't rally around me and hand me tissues and motion to "where I need to wipe" and hug me and not seem to notice or care I'm 40 minutes late with bats in the cave.

Bonus:  Michael Jackson's greatest hits were playing.

One permanently-cemented crown, the lab rushing the other by Friday, finding out it was a DROPPED CALL not a hang-up from my friend, Carrabba's Shrimp & Scallop Spiedino Di Mare and dinner with friends later, at least the tears stopped.

And, yes, I know, it could have been much worse--we aren't talking life and death or natural disaster, and an amazing adventure is just around the corner (though sometimes it will masqurade as great challenge)--but for just a few hours the Robin I know was unrecognizable and out of control.

And that's what happened exactly one week before I leave for Germany.

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If you've ever had a terrible, awful, very bad day, feel free to vent in comments.

And, if you're in Chattanooga and want a wonderful dentist referral, email me; I still have nothing but mad love for mine!

 

And the Oreck Magnesium winner is....

Lucky number 858!

Which meant I had to scroll through a LOT of pages of comments before I arrived at the winner's name.  This is when numbered comments come in really handy!

I wish I could see her face when she realizes she just won a $600 vacuum combo for entering a blogger's giveaway a few times :). 

Congratulations Kathy!  And many, many thanks for all of you who entered!  If you were so impressed with the Oreck Magnesium and the Ultimate Handheld Vac that you'd like to own a combo of your own, remember to use the code "Pensieve" and receive free shipping though the end of the month! 

A wrinkle in time

No matter the extreme measures you use to prevent aging, it’s going to happen.  It’s natural.

And sometimes the more you resist, the faster those changes seem to occur, don’t they?

But I’ve come up with a way to win this battle; when wrinkles burrow and shape shifts and weight won’t go away no matter what you try…

Please click to continue reading how I've found victory over wrinkles at Therapon's The Skinny ~ all things beauty.

One Sentence Saturday #1

 

I was so forgetful during pregnancy, one day I forgot to wear a bra to work.

 

 (click image for explanation)

Your turn!  Remember to visit your linky neighbors!!

 

Introducing...a REALLY fabulous, fun, fast blogging thing: One Sentence Saturday

If you're a blogger and you're like me, you're mentally composing THE BEST POST YOU'VE EVER WRITTEN at the most random of times--in the shower, tossing and turning in the middle of the night, when you're driving--only to have no memory of it when you're actually in front of a computer with time to write.

I've written ~ and forgotten ~ hundreds of 'em.

Couple that with those days (and weeks and sometimes months) when life is six shades of crazy and you just don't have time to pour out your brilliance in bits and bytes, but by golly you're thinking it, oh-yes-you're-thinking-it, and gracious! wouldn't it be NOBEL PRIZE-WINNING LIT'RA'TURE if you only had the time to explore and pen your thoughts?!

That's kinda the Season I'm in.

Well, recently Pamela (unbeknownst to her) inspired me to create a fun little exercise intended to ~

• spark creativity
• arouse reader's curiosity
• demand word economy
• satisfy the compulsion to blog s o m e t h i n g
• cultivate a fun little blogging community
• require only a little time

Introducing One Sentence Saturday!

The rules?  Simple:

Happy or sad, deep or shallow, inspiring or challenging, funny or serious, write a one-sentence post that tells a story you hope to elaborate on in the future; but if not, it's sufficient to stand alone.  Then link back to the One Sentence Saturday linky, and in the spirit of blogging community and encouragment, commit to visit at least two other participants (preferably the person right before you and after you in the linky) and leave a comment.  

That's it.  Have you EVER seen a blogging ANYTHING so easy?  I hope you'll join in.  I hope you'll spread the word.  

Here are a few buttons if you'd like to include one with your post with a link back to this explanation (thank you!).  

My One-Sentence Saturday with the Master Linky is coming in a bit; for now, I just wanted to introduce her to you :).

 

What you do 12 days before you move to Germany...

Tick tick tick...

Can you hear it? Because I do, and it's loud and relentless....

Time. Ticking. Away.

My life as I know it will monumentally change 12 days from now and I am feeling its enormity.

After 19 years in the paper industry, my husband is changing careers. He's leaving a dying industry to become part of a growth industry, joining a company that manufactures, among other things, hyper pure polysilicon.

Which tells 99% of you absolutely nothing, eh?

The simplest explanation is it's used in solar panels and microelectronics, and the plant here is sold out through 2015 although it won't even open for production until 2013.  

Which is why MY life is changing:  Tad's training will take place in Germany while their local facility is under construction. 

Somebody scream!!!

Ummm, wait...I just did....

So, on January 31 I will join him for about nine weeks as he makes the transition to Burghausen, Bavaria; our boys will stay home under the care of family and close friends.  I'll return in April to finish out the school year with them; Tad will make his first trip home in May, and then we'll all go back for the Summer while friends house sit.  What happens next school year is still undecided; Thomas will be a senior and that complicates decision-making.  

What I DO know is this opportunity is a precious gift on multiple levels; when I allow myself space to contemplate that aspect, I can barely maintain composure--

• Tad has had his eyes open for the right opportunity for a number of years; this position allows us to remain in the place my children consider home, less than an hour away from my daughter's college.
• The opportunity for travel throughout Europe while we have a home base there is INSANE!  Burghausen is on the Austrian border near where The Sound of Music was filmed.  DO YOU REMEMBER HOW BEAUTIFUL THE AREA IS?!  We'll be 80 miles east of Munich, within driving distance (or a train ride or cheap flight) of Italy, France, Switzerland, the Czech Republic, Belgium, Luxembourg, Spain, the UK.  

I will gladly give up food for travel.  Lose weight + see the world = WINWIN

• We'll get to reunite with my first cousin who lives about three hours away. She's lived in Germany over 20 years; I cannot believe our placement is so near, allowing us to get to know each other as adults.  
• Personal development.  We're going to be immersed in a new culture in a far-away country, challenged to learn a new language.  I'd say the odds are good we'll come back different human beings.
• Intercultural awareness.  I cannot wait to break the barriers of preconceived notions and stereotypes as we experience the truth that people are just people, the geography is just different.  Plus, we get to act as unofficial U.S. Ambassadors; for some, we'll be the only Americans they ever meet!
• Metric.  I'll finally learn it.  Do you realize the United States is the only country in the WORLD (with tiny exception-I-can't-remember-right-now) that uses Imperial measurement?  WTheck is wrong with us?  
• Professional development.  For Tad...he's a great manager of people and processes and I'm over-the-top THRILLED for this opportunity for him work for a 21st Century company.  
• Moving beyond comfort.  Without going into detail, I've lived in a spiritual desert for a long, long while.  But all the while I've had a sense of peace, believing in spite of my doubt or drought or whatever, that God was accomplishing a work of His choosing in me.  Over the past several months he's begun to awaken me from my spiritual slumber, gifting me with a desire to worship Him and read His word, which I assure you, is a gargantuan shift.  The timing of this job thing coincides perfectly; to move me out of my comfort zone and beyond the familiar...well...I have a sense that what has come before has prepared me for what lies ahead.  I have no idea what that means, but my soul, she's a'stirrin', with expectation and anticipation.

So.  What do you do 12 days before you move to Germany?  

You pack up everything you think you'll need to live in an apartment a quarter of the size of your current house.  It's a guessing game you hope you're close to winning.  

You obsess over the illogical.  Because my friend Neal (who works for a German company and has traveled there often over the past 20 years) told me to prepare for my trip by using sandpaper to wipe, my current obsession is toilet paper.  I've bought 48 rolls so the boys will be taken care of, and the same amount for me and Tad.   I also keep binge-buying snacks for their lunches.  

You realize you aren't moving to a Third World Country and they actually have super markets, but you can't stop worrying about freakin' toilet paper.

You start talking on the phone for the first time in years. Mercy...I forgot they worked for something other than texting and taking pictures!

You squeeze in good-bye visits but suddenly realize you haven't done a good enough job of planning that kind of thing.

You finally work on your New Year's letter, having forgone Christmas cards because you knew this was coming in January, to let everyone who doesn't read your blog know what's going on.  You can't afford that number of stamps.

Every time you look at your kids, you look at your kids.  You have eyes to see what was formerly imperceptible, and your heart floats to the center of your throat and you can't speak or you'll fall apart.  

s n i f f ...

I'm sure much of my writing over the next year will involve sharing our experience with those who care to follow.  But, I also plan to finally finish my parenting series, and I'll continue writing for (in)courage, Simple Mom and Therapon, and curate great content for Story Bleed.  I'll also continue writing for Vicks VapoRub through March...it is the cough and cold season, after all.

If you have interest in following our Bavarian adventure, now would be a great time to subscribe in a reader or by email; it would mean a lot to me to know you're virtually holding my hand, praying for us before and during Tad's assignment.  When I'm with him, I'll be homesick for my babies; when I'm with the children, I'll be missin' Tad something awful.  When we're altogether we'll probably be clawing each other's eyes out.

Just sayin'.

Feel free to chime in with your thoughts on where we need to go and what we need to see; I'm working on our European Bucket List and we'd love to learn from your wisdom and experience!

Related posts:

The Year of Living Dangerously

Clues that led up to our news

 

Eventually I get to the point; it ends in haiku

Early on in blogging, before there were such things as intention beyond spilling random thought, building your brand, or sponsored posts and giveaways, when everyone read everyone else's blog and actually commented (gasp!), before Facebook and Twitter and vanity URLs...

I had a blogging friend named Ree who wrote about livin' la vida loca, ranch-style.

There was a loosely-held community, bound by an affection for sharing words and life, and we really got to know each other, the way you can when you're channeling each others' thoughts on a daily basis.  My community's cast of characters included a wonderfully-endearing, dyslexic Coloradan who I think lives in a swamp, the first person who started commenting to me with some regularity (and I thought she was an oil baroness), her mother who sometimes painted masterpieces with words, a fabulous photographer, a curmudgeonly, ardently-cussy (& ultimately loveable) Australian, some mommy bloggers from Texas (including the pre-bloggess Bloggess)...and a pioneer woman.  The Pioneer Woman.  There were others in the mix, but many have long since stopped blogging or we've moved on.

Back in those days I religiously read every. single. person. who commented to my blog, and not only did I reply to their comment, I'd visit their blog and leave long, lovely comments to their posts.  It took a lot of time ~ all my time ~ and eventually in the pursuit of Life Balance, I became a sucky commenter (and for the most part killed a lively, ragamuffin community).

My mornings always began with my first cup of coffee and reading Pioneer Woman, a habit that lasted for years.  I still read her wonderful blog but with less regularity.

This morning I popped in on PW, delighted to find her entire post written in haiku!  If you follow me on Twitter and happen to see my early morning tweets, you already know I start most days with a little poem, more often than not, haiku.  Haiku composition demands word economy ~ not my strong suit ~ AND I love the creative prompt to begin my day.

So...when I read Ree's post, my heart burst into song and tiny cartoon hearts danced around my head!  I was compelled to reply with my own haiku, then promptly popped over to Twitter where I published this morning's daily poem, I think one of my favorites.

obsidian sky

diamond-sprinkled black velvet

softly kisses dawn

 

Haikus make me happy.  Haikus are FUN to write!  Haikus spark creativity for greater good!  Yes, yes--haikus can make your day BETTER!  Won't you share one with me right now?  What are you waiting for?  Giddy-up!!

 

photo credit

 

So much more than a dream: A must-read for today

I felt like my public education utterly failed me when I discovered Martin Luther King, Jr.'s "Letter from a Birmingham Jail" a few years ago; it's long but rivals the significance of his more popular and iconic "I have a dream" speech. 

Read it, print it out, share it with your children--and make sure they don't make it to 40 without having read it themselves. Highlighted passages are mine, sections that screamed at me in convicting whisper.

Letter from a Birmingham Jail

16 April 1963

My Dear Fellow Clergymen:

While confined here in the Birmingham city jail, I came across your recent statement calling my present activities "unwise and untimely." Seldom do I pause to answer criticism of my work and ideas. If I sought to answer all the criticisms that cross my desk, my secretaries would have little time for anything other than such correspondence in the course of the day, and I would have no time for constructive work. But since I feel that you are men of genuine good will and that your criticisms are sincerely set forth, I want to try to answer your statement in what I hope will be patient and reasonable terms.

I think I should indicate why I am here in Birmingham, since you have been influenced by the view which argues against "outsiders coming in." I have the honor of serving as president of the Southern Christian Leadership Conference, an organization operating in every southern state, with headquarters in Atlanta, Georgia. We have some eighty five affiliated organizations across the South, and one of them is the Alabama Christian Movement for Human Rights. Frequently we share staff, educational and financial resources with our affiliates. Several months ago the affiliate here in Birmingham asked us to be on call to engage in a nonviolent direct action program if such were deemed necessary. We readily consented, and when the hour came we lived up to our promise. So I, along with several members of my staff, am here because I was invited here. I am here because I have organizational ties here.

But more basically, I am in Birmingham because injustice is here. Just as the prophets of the eighth century B.C. left their villages and carried their "thus saith the Lord" far beyond the boundaries of their home towns, and just as the Apostle Paul left his village of Tarsus and carried the gospel of Jesus Christ to the far corners of the Greco Roman world, so am I compelled to carry the gospel of freedom beyond my own home town. Like Paul, I must constantly respond to the Macedonian call for aid.

Oreck Magnesium Giveaway!! ($600 value)

Right before Thanksgiving, I remember thinking, "I wish someone was hosting a vacuum cleaner giveaway or blogging campaign or SOMETHING" because my extended family was coming to spend a few nights, there was LOTS of cleaning to do, and my years' old vacuum was showing her age.  I'm always happy to work for food and/or fancy household appliances. 

You can imagine my shock when THE WEEK AFTER THANKSGIVING I was contacted by Oreck about a blogger outreach program to receive their new Oreck Magnesium for review and host a giveaway for one lucky reader. 

If I wasn't so thrilled I would've been more concerned about Big Brother somehow getting inside my head.

There are so many good things to say about the Oreck Magnesium I'm offering you ~ (please click to find out!!)

FREE Starbucks!

Love Starbucks because their Jedi Mind Tricks have worked and you think it's the best coffee in the world?

Hate Starbucks because of their marketing prowess in convincing you it's WORTH $5 for a 1.5-ounce shot of espresso in your favorite coffee drink?

Either way, they're inviting you to taste their new Blonde (presumably lighter) Roast at the "Find the Roast You Love Most" event, today through Saturday, January 14th.  Then you can drive over to Canada sometime between February 9-11 and receive another free sampling.  

Some people would say it's totally worth the trip.  I, for one, have always thought Starbucks coffee tasted like licking an ashtray - to which my husband always asks, "And WHEN have you licked an ashtray?!" - and it's no temptation to abandon my beloved Dunkin Donuts....  (Except I love Sbux caramel macchiatos, but I drink them sparingly because of a) the calories, b) the cost, c) principle. ish.)

However, Blonde Coffee?  Veranda Blend?  Will gentlemen prefer this roast?  Is it a slight towards redheads and brunettes?  If Starbucks' other blends are "dark" and "medium" why isn't this "light"?  And are we supposed to drink it on a porch in the South?   So many questions to ponder...!

Well, something about it does sound fun, so I think I will take 'em up on their offer.  

 

skin thin

there is this thing about me i wish i could change:

my skin is too thin.

you can almost see it, flesh stretched over frame, opaque...translucent. how can those things be when they're seemingly opposite?

i've tried to change. i've tried not to care.  

sometimes i pretend well, but sometimes i retreat.

i'm a turtle in a shell.

my mind is forgetful, so forgetful; i can't recall the simplest of things - what did i wear yesterday? - but my heart has elephant's memory.  

there are wounds, some decades old, still oozy.  from the fresh, blood seeps.  

it's not a giving in to it, languishing in a pool of sorrow, not like that at all.  it's f e e l i n g, and that deeply, a soul haunting.  

a scar.  yes, that's it...scars!  words lash and leave their mark, actions speak and shatter glass...and a heart is scarred, and though it'd like to, it cannot forget.

the heart always remembers. 

i wonder, indeed, if this is how i am naturally wired, than this is good.  i'm a child of EL-ROI, the strong one who sees, EL-SHADDAI, God almighty; so He who sees me, He who gave me life, for cryin' out loud...is perfectly able to change me.  

but He hasn't.  so if my skin refuses to callous, to thicken, then must this way of being be for my good and His glory?  

i think so.

i choose to believe so.

thin makes you aware.  it opens your eyes, although sometimes not until later.  thin builds compassion, it tenders you to others. thin is far from perfect, but maybe most of all, thin informs forgiveness.

left untended, thin is a gnarl of weeds, ugly and bitter and angry.  

wisdom seekers see thin's beauty, life coursing in rivers below skin's surface.

i'm comfortable in this skin, thankful for its redemption. 

its r e d e m p t i o n ...

deep feeler

eye opener

forgiveness teacher

maybe one day i'll stop wishing to change.

* * * * * * * *

Joining Heather of the EO's "Just Write" writing prompt...I sure didn't see this one coming... :).

Photo credit

Picturesque & poetic: an Ode to Dunkin Donuts

My intention was singular:  I needed a Bavarian Cream doughnut for Clue #2.   

 

O.n.e. Bavarian Cream doughnut (or "Krapfen" as my imaginary German friend Herr Höferle informed me).

But, good gravy...when I walked through the doors of our new Dunkin Donuts, I heard the colors of the rainbow singing an oh-so-sweet tune (and saw, and smelled...and eventually tasted....), and then my plans changed.

Who am I to resist such a seductive siren's call?  Just look at these lively, little temptresses....

 

My family was most appreciative of my change in plans.

I'm feeling rather inspired after thumbing through my doughnut pictures for the umpteenth time; in fact, rather poetic.  Indulge me...?

 

An Ode to Dunkin Donuts

Dunkin Donuts Coffee, aroma so fine,

Each morning I wake to this Scent of Divine.

We love you so much, we buy by mail order

Oh, no, could we be an addicted bean hoarder?!

Please say it ain't so!  We just like our caffeine

From the best - and that's y'all - you, coffee machine!

One cup or two cups or dare I drink three?

Well, if I did that, all day would I  pee!

And by nighttime, I'm sure sleep would elude

Ensuring next day a grouchy, bad mood.

But wait!  There's a fix when insomnia lingers,

Sweet, sugared goodness all over your fingers!

Sprinkles and icing, doughnuts supreme

You won't find these treats at your Krispy Kreme!

You see, "Hot and Now" is all they can boast,

And here's why I love Dunkin Donuts the most:

Their coffee puts Starbucks, all others, to shame

Their doughnut perfection, I can't help but proclaim!

An edible rainbow, a colorful snack,

Delicious reasons I'll keep coming back.

 

Amen.

 

 

 

 

 

Cure for hiccups

My youngest has sworn by this cure for months, but I've been skeptical.

Until tonight.

I didn't just have the hiccups, I had the hiccup-burps; much more annoying and completely unladylike.  So I figured I had nothing to lose and protein to gain.

I've tried holding my breath, exhaling then holding it, drinking a glass of water, and who knows what else to get rid of hiccups.  Who knew that a spoon full of peanut butter would do the trick?  I mean besides Stephen...?

Immediately they stopped.  I'm now a believer.  My son is brilliant.  Home remedies rock.

Which has me wondering, what are your tried and true home remedies?  For hiccups, toe fungus or any other bothersome but not life threatening malady?  Do tell!