PENSIEVE

The Great Wedding Gown Mystery

When I began writing about breaking the seal on my preserved wedding dress gown yesterday, I hadn't taken it out of the exterior box in forever (there's a smaller sealed box within the larger outer box); there was just no reason to (other than to look at it longingly with fond memories of "the day") knowing that it wasn't coming out to play until our 20th anniversary.

Well, imagine my horror and dismay when I saw how stained that outer carton was!  I quickly snapped a few photos (geez, always with the blog in mind first and foremost :/), then hastily tugged on the inner carton to assess the damage, if any, to it.

This is the image imprinted on the box...doesn't is SCREAM 1950-something in a wonderfully kitschy kind of way?:

And THIS is what I found when I pulled the rascally rabbit out of the hat:

 

Although there's been some shifting and settling and general box discoloration due to age, the interior box looks pretty good.

Whew!  Talk about a HUGE sigh of relief!

I cannot WAIT to open this...and put on my tiara veil...and slip on my dress and pray it buttons in back!  And pretend to be the Princess Bride...again :). 

"Mawage. Mawage is wot bwings us togeder tooday. Mawage, that bwessed awangment, that dweam wifin a dweam...And wuv, tru wuv, will fowow you foweva..."

Man, I love that movie--PLEASE TELL ME YOU KNOW THE ORIGIN OF THAT MOVIE QUOTE!--as campy as it is...it's timeless.  I hope they never remake it. :)

Thanks to Hootin' Anni, who gifted me with this little blog-surcie.  Nothin' scary about this (as opposed to my WW--YIKES!).

Wordless Wednesday - Frightful!

Super-size at your own risk.   I almost didn't post this but decided in honor of Halloween, I'd offer the scariest thing I've ever seen I(n)R(eal)L(ife).  And really...there are no words, are there?

I hope you can forgive me....

wordless wednesday

Is a "little bit crazy" analogous to a "little bit pregnant"?

Does it have to be all or nothin'?

Those, who, from the inside out understand "I'm not suffering from my insanity, I'm enjoying every minute of it" are best qualified to answer this not rhetorical question.

Why all the crazy talk?

Meet #2488:).

It couldn't have come at a better time. 

November is CHOCK FULL of reasons to write--the season, holiday traditions, my BIG announcement (that you're hearing about for the first--but definitely not last--time ta-day) (no, I'm not joining Karmyn in her nine-month weight gain program (please God, NO! but congrats to her!), and we celebrate officially our 20th wedding anniversary... where, for your viewing pleasure, I will set free my wedding dress that has been entombed in a hermetically-sealed box for TWENTY LONG YEARS, haunting me with the legitimate question, "Why buy the most expensive dress you'll ever wear, and wear it only once?".

Oh, y e a h, baby...I'm busting that seal and I'm squeezing in; of course I'm banking on the fact  the hope  the pipe dream the assumption that I CAN get into it because a) it was a little big when I wore it last time; b) I've gained about 1/2 a pound a year for the past two decades, and surely, it's either i) evenly distributed throughout my whole body so it won't factor much into me fitting into my wedding dress, or ii) the dress will be VERY forgiving since it's poofy where I'm "poofy".

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Hmmm, to whet your appetite just a bit, let's look at the dress as it is RIGHT.  NOW. 

It's been living in our closet behind Tad's clothes for the four years we've lived in Tennessee...

 

Oh, dear....WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN?? Our house has NEVER flooded, for cryin' out loud--WHAT'S WITH THE WATER MARK?  Is it ONLY on the OUTER BOX?

Well, my sweet little Pensieve-nistas...you'll just have to tune in tomorrow.....

** my apologies to those who know how to write a REAL nail-biting cliffhanger...this is the best I can do ;) **

Hattip to Claudia for the crazy bunny clip :).

Fun Monday - Don't leave home without it!

Karina, this week's Fun Monday hostess, among other things wants "to see [our] security blankets....not the kind Linus carries around with him in the Charlie Brown cartoons, although, if you have one of those, by all means share it. What I want to see are the items you just cannot leave home without. What is it that if you leave your house without, you feel naked, incomplete, not quite right? ... What can't you leave home without?..."

First, the obvious:

 

Less than a year ago, I couldn't say my purse was something I always had "on my person".  Ever since I was held at gunpoint...okay, not really, but it sounds MUCH more dramatic... ROBBED, I've been a slave to it :/.  Karina asked what we felt naked without, and that's gotta be my rings--engagement, wedding, and 10th anniversary (in the summer, my toe rings make the list).  And, of course, my cell phone, it might as well be my right hand's sixth finger.  Not that that would make me a freak or anything. 

Next, I've talked enough about coffee in the past, my next photos should be no surprise--every morning I leave with one or the other (if my cell phone is my right hand's sixth finger, one of these must be my seventh--but only in the morning.  Hmmm, I AM beginning to look like a circus freak!):

      

The Rembrandts insulated cup is from a Chattanooga "must-visit" (coffee shop/dessert destination) in the Bluff View Arts District; I couldn't resist surcie-ing myself with the "Java Junkee" coffee mug...it starts my day with a smile--especially when it's FULL of Dunkin' Donuts coffee!

The last "security items" I thought I'd share, live in my car (maybe that makes them my van's fifth wheel, keeping with the extra digits on my hand analogy....):

With three kids, I'm forever needing napkins to clean up spills (see above item :/), and someone ALWAYS needs a tissue (better than wiping stuff on the back of our seats!); the umbrella is an obvious "security blanket", but what are those two other colorful things?

Let's look inside:

A sewing kit and first aid kit that have come in handier than my 12 fingers!  The first aid kit is supposed to have has ibuprofen AND acetaminophen, Benedryl and Neosporin cream, bandages, a pocket knife, matches, sinus meds, instant spot remover (clothing "first aid"), eye drops and anti-bacterial wipes.  Fun Monday has been helpful this week because I realized I need to re-stock a few things thanks, kids >:(.

Okay, guys, that's it from me this week....thanks for your visit.  Be sure to visit Karina for the rest of Fun Monday fun :).

p.s. after receiving a few comments:  The Mary Engelbreit stinkin'-adorable- I-don't-care-how-much-you-mock-me (!) sewing kit was a gift from my sister because she knows I LOVE all things "ME".  It's thin and perfectly fits our door side pocket; the sewing items we use more than anything are the tape measure and scissors.  And, I promise you, if you put a first aid kit in your car, you will use it over and over again, strangers and friends will love you when you pull out something they need if they're gushing blood, and you will, in turn, think of me lovingly, realizing that Fun Monday has made a difference in your life.  So there (hmph! hands on hips, lips poked out)! :)

And if you haven't read my post below (and you have a minute to give me your opinion), please scroll to the end and tell me whether or not I should advise my neighbor about the "creature" living under their house!

 

S(N)AKES Alive & Foxy Mama (or is it Coyote Ugly?)

Ours is a suburban neighborhood, right off the interstate.  The road that leads to our 'hood meanders through what was the countryside and farmland less than a decade ago.

In other words, with Wal-Mart "city" just miles from our front door, there are still vestiges of what "used to be". 

This week I was talking on the telephone while looking out our kitchen window.  Deep in conversation, I noticed a "creature" wandering into our yard (Aussie was inside).  As my ears were processing the words of my friend, my eyes were desperately trying to process their view.  "Dog?"  No, that's not it.  "Dingo?"  Seriously, that crossed my mind but was QUICKLY dismissed because we DON'T live in Australia, for goodness sakes!  "Fox?Wolf??"  BING!BING!BING!  We have a winner, ladies and gentlemen.

In one fluid, concurrent motion, I rudely hung up the phone and SCREECHED for my children, exploding a lung in the process--Y'ALL-GET-DOWN-HERE-QUICK-THERE'S-A-WOLF-IN-OUR- BACKYARD!"  Well, the creature heard me, too, looked towards the house, and picked up his gait.  I'm not sure why "wolf" came out of my mouth, but I intended "fox".  I immediately grabbed my camera (unfortunately in the next room), ran to the window...just in time to see him scampering into the woods at the corner of the lot. 

The scary thing is, now I realize there might be something ELSE Aussie could be barking at when she seems to be barking at axe murderers air.

Revision before I finished writing this:  tonight I was at a Harvest party (barbecue, bonfire, and all that that implies....) and I was telling some friends about my fox sighting.  THEY told me it was probably a coyote, they're (apparently) a nuisance critter in our area.  All I know is 1) that sucker was fast and, 2) he was definitely NOT a dog.  Now I find myself second guessing what I saw (evidence eye-witness testimonies are unreliable) (at least mine).  Heck, maybe it WAS a dingo!

Then there was yesterday....

We're three houses away from ours when I notice a "snake" in the road.  A rather large "snake-ish" shape.  I say to the children, "There's a snake in the road," to which they reply in unison, "That's not a snake." 

And then they say, "Wait...IT MOVED!!!".

I threw the car into park, grabbed my camera--which WAS nearby thanks to the photo-project I've been working on this week at the kids' school--and we all ran over to inspect the snakey shape...

The 4-5' long snakey shape that WAS a snake!

I'll let the rest speak with pictures:

1)  Our first view.

2) He didn't care for company:

3)  Snake in my shadow.  Hmmm, sounds like a good Halloween song.

4)  Kids, while keeping their distance, realize I am always right.  Always.

5)  He's starting to slither away, daggum it...

6)  So I did what any Crocodile Hunter Alligator Huntress would do...I grabbed its tail.  Stephen said, "YOU AREN'T SUPPOSED TO GRAB SNAKES BY THEIR TAIL, THEY'LL COME BACK AT YOU!"  Which is exactly what happened...glad to see he's listening in school (or when he's watching Animal Planet).

 

7)  So I froze a moment while he stared me down, then he continued on his journey.

8)  Snakes are fast...he KNEW where he was headed....

9)  Stephen and I continued to trail him when he stopped to rest. 

So...I ran to get in FRONT of him so I could get a better look....

He didn't seem to be intimidated by me...he just kept coming...

When he got this close...

...I yelled chicken!  Then we stepped back and just watched; first, he slithered over our neighbor's brick walkway...

Then, that cobra turkey snake slithered over their concrete sidewalk...

Any guesses where he was going?

Right...

under...

...their HOUSE!!!

Do you think I should tell them they have company?

Housekeeping Blogkeeping

I sure should've posted this before now--

1)  I never told you who this was (based on the comments, not many of you cared ;) but Southern Girl got it right.).  The man upon whom the movie "Catch Me If You Can" was based, Frank Abagnale.  He spoke at the First Things First 10th Anniversary celebration, and some friends invited us to attend. 

In his common, matter-of-fact demeanor, he held us captive with the true version of his life, correcting the fallacies perpetuated by the movie.  His was a message of the life-altering importance of marriage and family, and he spoke it with deep-rooted, heart-wrenching conviction. 

If you ever have opportunity to hear him speak, it's worth your time and the cost of admission (and he's more than happy to vogue with any bloggers fans in the audience ;) ).

2)  Overdue thanks! 

Just because I don't respond very quickly, doesn't mean I don't SINCERELY APPRECIATE, FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART when my blog buds share little prizes.

Most recently, Robinella, who gave me this and said:
"I can’t say enough wonderful things about this gal who shares my name. Her best SW quality is that she is distracting with her chatter but she really knows how to spread the word. She takes time out of her busy day to email people personally as any good SW would do. But unfortunately, she was caught with seaweed infested, salty braids, that between you (the www) and me, I think are just a little too tight. But the picture of her from the back was really perty and worth tight braids."

How could I tarry in my expressing my gratitude?  She rocks!

And loooong-time friend, e-mom paid me a wonderful compliment by sharing this familiar button (in spite of the fact she called me OLD!):   

Thing is, I'm supposed to pass it along to five others, but because I'm so late, many of you already have it (and I've lost track).  The truth is, EVERYONE who comments to PENSIEVE makes me smile, so if you don't have it, please pick it up and wear it proudly and you can even say I gave it to ya, 'cause isn't that what I'm doing?

And Willowtree...I imagine he's long forgotten awarding me (well, my winning by popular vote :/) this little ditty for my commenting prowess.  Before you click the link, I've gotta issue a warning (I'm serious...and Willowtree, when you read this, you KNOW some of my readers would be offended by your "colorful" language, so you are NOT allowed to take offense at my warning!)--his is an R-rated blog (probably an understatement, it might be NC-17 )...and MY version of the award has been re-created-from-the-ground-up re-worked so I could actually post it (thanks to the photoshopping skills of Mama Drama blogger, Mindy!).  Willowtree is the King of Snark, and he managed to rip my words out of context and make me sound like his Queen.  Honestly, when I found out people were voting for ME I about died!  Then, I realized, by golly, it was a compliment.  To be able to keep up with the likes of his regulars?  They've got some of the sharpest wit and humor in the business!  (If you choose to follow the link, be sure to read my comment in response...it wasn't my first response, but after praying about it--seriously!--it's VERY proportional to the "crime";) ).

And for all of y'all who've tagged me...I DO wanna get to 'em, and maybe I will...but gee willikers...I haven't even finished my Kiawah top ten list, or our Yellowstone, or my 20th Anniversary post.  Is there an award for Queen of Procrastination or Always Blog-behind?

Waxing poetic ~ Autumn

It's already time for Poetry Friday and 15 Words or Less poems (which is actually posted on Thursday). 

My first stanza is well under the 15-word limit, but it seemed unfinished without a second; I wonder if Laura will notice ban me from 15 Words mind that I slipped over the word count a teensy weensy bit with the second stanza addition (kinda like the Wal-mart shoppers who sneak 23 items one or two extra items in the 20-item Express Lane).

Here's the photo Laura used for this week's "15 Words":

Prismatic season
Fire-lit hues
Slowly verdancy diffused.

Rainbow spectrum
Key of red
All too soon, their fall, ahead.

Because, sometimes when I write, I get a little carried away...here are my "rejects", the ones that made me giggle.  Just tack either one of them on as stanza three...

Ignited color
Soon to fall
Grab a rake and help us, y'all!

or

Crimson glory
Umbrageous wake
Once they fall, help!  Grab a rake!

And then, there's Haiku Friday...

Breathtaking beauty
Leafy pallets, artist's muse
Death, then life again

Try one...try them all...and be sure to let me know if you do :).

How to plan the near PERFECT 20th anniversary get-away

1)  Eighteen months BEFORE the 20th anniversary, the husband should casually say to the wife, "Hmmm, our 20th anniversary is coming up after this year, right?  We need to do something special."

    a)  You get extra points for saying this in the company of others so it can later be verified.
    b)  It's perfectly acceptable for that thought to be left dangling for a few months; suggesting this in and of itself is the first 20th anniversary gift.
    c)  In order for this to remain a gift, it better not be the only gift. 

2)  Define "something special" to be a trip.  A good great  NO-EXPENSE-SPARED-FOR-THE-FIRST-&-ONLY-TIME-IN-YOUR-LIFE trip.  No pressure or anything....

    a)  Begin saving. 
    b)  Train your children to scrounge for loose change...it's amazing how much "silver money" you can find in the grocery store check-out line and under Coke machines.   Just invest in a bucket of Purell.
    c)  This would be a good time to lift your ban on playing the lottery.
    d)  And for goodness sakes--send in your Publisher's Clearing House entry!  You may have already won!

3)  Begin researching your options.

    a)  Read travel magazines.
    b)  Watch travelogues.  Sit through mind-numbing exciting slide shows of your friends and family.
    c)  Solicit suggestions from friends, relatives, neighbors, the Wal-Mart greeter--anyone with lips and a brain.  The two of those put together often result in  spectacular ideas.
    d)  If you want extremely diverse ideas, start a blog, make a few bluddies, and ask THEIR opinions...because bloggers NEVER shy away from sharing their opinions, and actually, they're usually pretty scary entertaining helpful.

4)  Plan your date.

5)  Secure childcare.  Make sure whoever is keeping your children understands they aren't just "taking the reservation...they're HOLDING the reservation".

6)  Determine the "ingredients" of your trip--the better your recipe, the more delicious its taste.  Crowds or seclusion?  All-inclusive or a la carte?  Nightlife?  Shopping?  Museums?  Theatre?  Fine dining?  Knowing what you want in advance is crucial in narrowing your focus.

7)  Discover tripadvisor.com.  It will become an INVALUABLE TOOL in your research...she will become a friend.  Not just ANY friend, your BFF.  You will use her, seek her opinion often, and as a matter of fact, you will not book a trip without her from your first meeting until the end of time.  Or beyond.  You will want to give her surcies, write her love letters, and make out with her for HOURS (uh oh, I'm channeling PW)...but then you will remember tripadvisor is just a website.  A reeeally GREAT website!  And you'll be embarrassed you said all that gooey stuff (but you won't take it back because if T.A. was a person, you'd want to do all that and more).

8)  Pull the trigger and MAKE YOUR DECISION.  No matter how difficult this is...in spite of the self-imposed pressure you're putting on yourself for this to be the trip of a lifetime...make the flippin' decision.  The rest is downhill from there.

9)  Hypothetically speaking, if you're looking for:  private, all-inclusive, beach front, SPECTACULAR UNSURPASSED BEAUTY AND SERVICE, choose a place like Hermitage Bay.

10)   Consult luxurylinks.com, and if the moon is in the Seventh House And Jupiter aligns with Mars, you will save money.  Enough to pay for a kidney transplant (or at least hair extensions). 

    a)  After you do a little happy dance round-off, back handspring WIN your auction, return to Robin's Pensieve and thank her profusely for i) providing a GREAT public service with this article; ii) helping you plan the PERFECT anniversary trip; iii) thumping your spouse in the head to get the ball running; iv) suggesting the time and the place to propagate the human race. 

Homework--well done--WILL.PAY.OFF. 

Juicy details to follow soon ;).

 

Wordless Wednesday ~ Hula Girl Guy

Click on THIS "officially" to join Wordless Wednesday.

wordless wednesday